My brain start functioning the wrong side again.Wrong info , wrong way of thinking and i shouldn't think it right now. Like seriously ! Why I can't start a new relationship? Am i scared or afraid of hurting again?Or mayb that guy is not my prince yet? Or I feel tired of everthing ? Or mayb i still love him ? Am i insane or what? i knw you guys will feel annoyed of me cause i always keep writing about him and how much i miss him and love him . but i still wanna express out my feeling. this is really what blog for. i dont want anything happen to someone or something whenever i post something about him or other unrelavant stuff. i just hate ppl scolding me or hate me for writing unusual stuff in my post or they will say you want get ppl attention is it?caring about you and love you is it? lols. i can say im not. if you knw how it feels , you will know what am i talking about. i'm writing this is not getting ppl's attention, so please dont misunderstand about it. if you feel this post is annoying , please move ur ass off . sorry for being rude but i just hate ppl saying bad stuff about my post . but whoever is it, i dont give a damn about it. if you are in relationship with him, please dont because of this post and break up. cause i dont wan to get involve into any problem . im seriosy fedup with the previous case happened. Makes everyone unhappy and cried of tears and even lost a good friend. i dont wanna this thing happen again. please ! each every second i lied to myself, saying i wont love you anymore, i wont miss you again . but now , i'm wrong. Could time turn back to january 2nd?the first date we had ? i'm missing the moment we've been through. its so hard to forget . trying hard to forget and wash off , but i just cant. Am i being stubborn or i cant forget about him? the picture , the necklace, the teddy bear. all is still with me. keeping in a box .mayb i should wake up. i should face the fact. the truth is infront of me. i cant deny the fact that we are officially end.our relationship is officially over. what is my heart trying to tell me?no one will understand how i feel . when you had this kind of problem, then u will know how it feels . but now everything is over.totally over. what can i espect more? Chances? i dont think so. i ruin the previous chances before. Whenever i think about you, my tears will starting to drop. but why my tears is still dropping since after several months of break up. i should be enjoying my life or with a new target? i dont knw how to appreciate people infront of me, standing there waiting for me. i just know how to look backward instead of looking forward to the future. One word for me Dumb . can i still trust you what you had said to me?i'm afraid of everything. even one small relationship, i can't even stand for it. how could i survive for a long term relationship? The best way is staying at home, being alone. i wanna go home mami and papa `