Heart beat !

My heart beat , beat till i cant control myself.
It beat until so fast that make my whole mind blank
& can't really breath properly.


Do you have the same feeling too?

When I know i'm gonna meet you soon,
My heart beat starting to beat until so fast....
Really really fast, my hand was shaking ....
And i feel my temperature on my body went down,
it become so cold....

My hand become freeze.
and my breath too....

I couldn't wait to see you,
is this call normal to me?
or maybe i feel scare to see him.
or maybe i really wanna see him.
i dont know....
All this questions marks its been coming out in my mind...
But all the questions , i couldn't answer.


When the moment i saw you, my heart beat, beat until real fast.
I don't know what to say to you,
But i know i have a lot of questions wanna ask you,
but my mind just went completely blank.

The only thing i asked is how are you,
how are you and your girlfriend?
Thats all.
I don't know what ask anymore.

You were walking behind of me,
& I was walking infront of you.

I couldn't face you in a proper way,
I wanna walk back and walk with you .
But i can't.

At last,
I decided to walk front,
& walked away.
& say a goodbye to you in a far distance,
& you appear off from me.

I wanna check whether are you still there,
but the crowd make my eye view blur.
I couldn't spot you anymore.
You just disappear off in like 1 sec.

Not even 1 sec,
mili sec i could say !

I'm really happy that i could see you.
But in other words,
Im sad ....

My mood was up and down on that day.
I couldn't smile infront of my dad's friends.
I was just pretending myself to smile brightly and say hello to them

I could feel my smile was fake.
But i have to smile and pretend nothing happen infront of my parents...

I was suffering to smile .
Infront of you guys,
I can smile and laugh.
Butt sometimes im just pretending.

Im trying myself to be strong.

Please be strong Rebeeca Khoo !
I know you can do it !

The monkey is still with right beside me.
Maybe its time to put you in a box.